Men and women see and deal with things differently, even giving advice to their friends. At least usually. I may be generalizing here, but based on my vast experience it seems pretty accurate, I call things as I see them, and I won’t apologize for it.
Men are logical, straight forward, and problem solvers, even if they aren’t asked to fix it. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve cried on a man’s shoulder, just to hear how I should be handling it. It’s in the male genetic make-up to spout out how to fix something and move forward, even if they haven’t analyzed the situation at hand.
Women are more emotional, patient, and on-the-spot supportive. Sometimes they don’t want any advice, they just need to rant and get things off their chest so they can feel better. There are times when women are afraid to give advice, because what if it’s the wrong stuff? What if it’s misunderstand?
After all, there is the whole Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. There has to be something to it, right?
So, What Should I Do?
It might be hard, but be patient. Time is one of the best things we can give a friend in need.
If someone says they have a problem, sit there and wait. Silently. Don’t say a word.
Let the person rant without interruptions. Just exude support. But don’t let your mind wander. Pay attention.
Wait for them to ask for advice. The first thing you want to say is rephrase the question, so you make be sure you understood the problem.
Don’t say “this is what I would do”. Give them a few solutions to choose from if you can come up with more than one.
Listen to what they say they want to do, and give them your honest opinion, but be gentle with it.
What Not to Do
DO NOT say “I told you so”. That’s the last thing anyone ever wants to hear.
DO NOT dismiss their issue, even if you think it’s silly or unrealistic, or anything like that. It’s real to them.
DO NOT tell anyone your friend’s problem. It was said in confidence, and as a true friend keep your mouth shut.
This is Miss Lare, signing off. Have a great day, Las Vegas, and remember, it’s not always the big actions that matter. The little actions embody love, too.